The worst sex advice you've ever seen

feminism killed sexBreaking news: women's orgasms are ruining sex! Well, at least according to some of the "sexperts" quoted in a recent Australian Men's Health article.

According to the lad mag, women have been doing this whole sex thing all wrong ever since a good number of them became feminists and decided that they wanted to get off, también. Oh, the nerve of them. But have no fear. Men's Health has 15 quick and easy tips for men to help turn a "good [feminist] girl bad," and make her great in bed "without her even noticing."


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Now, I've read some pretty bad sex advice in my day, but this article really takes the cake. Besides sounding somewhat rapey and incredibly creepy, the article does a complete disservice to both men and women looking to have mind blowing sex. Which is especially shocking when you consider the fact that five of the alleged sexperts are women. Seriously, aren't they supposed to be gunning for more female orgasms? Apparently, a few of them didn't get the memo.

Take Dr. Pam Spurr, for instance. She doesn't seem to care much for female orgasms. In fact, she thinks that ever since women learned "that orgasms, like voting and equal pay, are their right," men's orgasms have fallen by the wayside, which is apparently the worst thing to ever happen in life. The advice just goes downhill from there.

For example, they have some pretty awful advice for men regarding your "tunnel of love" not being "snug" enough. Self-serving Pilates expert Alvin Quek tells men they should sign women with loose pelvic floors up for Pilates so that they can get their nether regions right and tight for their men. "Practised regularly, it'll tighten the vaginal canal to develop extra squeeze and stimulation," he muses. "Plus, she regularly wears Lycra to do it, which has to be a good thing."

And should a woman not be interested in having sex with a man, Spurr suggests just spinning her around so that she doesn't have to look at his face. "If she's shy, tires easily on top (or she just doesn't fancy you)," she writes, "turn her around to face your feet, keeping your legs together." Yes, because when I'm tired and/or not attracted to a man, looking at his feet will definitely keep me going. Except that it won't. Not even a little.

And the list goes on, but I think you get the gist. This is just awful. What makes it worse is the fact that this advice is being doled out primarily by women to men about just how terrible women's rights has been for men's sex lives. That couldn't be further from the truth. I'd argue that women's rights and feminism have done wonders for everyone's sex lives. The more women orgasm, the more sex they want to have, and the more sex women have, the more both partners benefit. Not to mention, how incredibly giving a satisfied partner tends to be. This is usually the part where I say, "but maybe that's just me," but I'm not going to say that, because it's not just me. I know there are plenty of women who agree.

Image via Thinkstock

Topics: advice  orgasm  sex