Masturbation could save your man's life

health benefits male masturbationIt looks like men have yet another reason to stock up on tissue this flu season. A group of German scientists recently discovered that men who show themselves a little intimate TLC tend to have better immune systems than those who don't. Well, it's nice to know researchers are making good use of all that hard-to-come-by grant money, amiright?


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For the study, researchers asked eleven lucky volunteers to masturbate to completion then perform a mundane, non-sex related task. Following each activity, researchers drew and analyzed the number of leukocytes aka killer cells present in each volunteer's blood stream. Not surprisingly, researchers found that sexually aroused men tend to have a higher number of leukocytes in their blood stream after they've indulged in a blood-pumping activity such as masturbation. Well, that sounds like good news for men—especially those averse to washing their hands. As for masturbation's effect on ladies' immune system? Well, scientists didn't exactly get that far. But then again, why would they? It's not like women ever get sick or masturbate, right? Oh, wait—we do. So what gives, science?

Is it just me, or does science has a serious bias against women and their lady parts?  It seems like you can't go online these days without some new study touting the health benefits of male masturbation or the ingestion of semen or some other male-centered sex act. Off the top of my head, I can tell you male masturbation has been proven to decrease men's risk of developing prostate cancer, improve sperm motility, and even reduce nasal congestion. But when it comes to female masturbation, we know little to nothing regarding its impact on women's health, specifically. All I know is that it feels really, really good, and when I feel good, everyone benefits, but my self-assessment hardly counts as research.

Women need—nah, deserve—comprehensive studies investigating the impact female orgasms have on our health. Sure, we know orgasms help us sleep better and feel better, but do they have any qualitative impact on our immune system? Can masturbating help decrease our risk of developing any specific types of cancer? I have so many questions! Where are my answers?  C'mon, science. Our health is nothing to sneeze at. Get with the times, and give us the masturbation study we deserve. In the interest of bringing a solutions to the table, I'd like to throw my hat in the ring to become one of your able and willing volunteers. Jussayin'.

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Topics: masturbation  men  health  array