The 9 worst things that can happen when you're having sex
Sex is titillating, exhilarating, empowering, and, er, sometimes pretty awkward if we're being really honest.
Sex, like everything else in life, comes with its ups and downs (pun intended). Sometimes it's great and other times it's just straight-up awkward, even if and when it's with the man of your dreams. Meh, it happens more often than you think. But having said that, let me be clear: no woman should ever settle for subpar sex.
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So if you've met the man of your dreams, but his bedroom mojo could use a little fine-tuning, don't shy away from speaking up. Sure, it'll be awkward at first, but no more awkward than having to fake the big O for the rest of your life. The next time you find yourself shying away from having the talk, consider having to deal with any of these 9 awful mood-busting awkward sexual encounters for the rest of your ever-loving life!
He leaves you high and dry. He's all "teamwork will make the dream work" outside of the bedroom, but in the sack his motto is: Every man and woman for themselves!
He insists on reenacting his favorite skin flicks. You know your man watches too much porn when he insists on having you call him Andre McStuffins and ending each romp with a "money shot."
He's an awkward dirty talker. There's nothing more awkward than having to ask your novio to repeat himself because you can't understand his crazy, cockney pirate accent.
He's pushy. If your partner can't understand that no means no, perhaps he'll understand "go means go." Don't let any man pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable doing.
You laughed at his teeny tiny weeny…but only the first time he sprung it on you. Luckily, you made up for it by telling him some tired ol' line about "it's not the size of the ship that matters." And even luckier, he proved you right later on that night. Phew!
Or he has a giant anaconda. Yeah, because there's nothing awkward about trying to fit a pickle through a pinhole, right? Wrong. Here's to hoping you guys have plenty of patience and lube between you.
He lubed up your ear using his tongue. Ear licking can be nice, if that's your thing. But having your partner leave a lugi in your ear is another thing entirely. Holler if you hear me…through all that spit.
He failed the oral examination…men who at least try get an A for effort; with a little practice, they can become star students. Encourage them to keep trying. As for men who just refuse to go downtown, they're pretty much declining the opportunity to get an easy O out of you. For shame.
He tried to put it in the backdoor. Coolio if you're up for anal, but not cool if you've made it perfectly clear that you're not interested in having a backdoor adventure. If he tries to slip it in the rear when you're not willing, guide his member back to the proper hole.
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Fess up: Have you ever had terribly awkward sex?