We've all heard different chistes de casados, but what have you heard about interracial marriage? Before I met my husband, I didn't think much of the prevalent misconceptions of interracial marriages. But as a Latina married to an African American, I am keenly aware of the challenges marrying outside our ethnicity and culture can present.

As my five year anniversary draws near, I take a look at 5 myths about interracial marriage.


1) We don't have pride in our perspective cultures. In my case, at least, the exact opposite is true. Growing up in suburban Los Angeles, issues of race and culture were not usually discussed. My interracial marriage has actually allowed me to be proud of and embrace my Latina identity. In celebrating our different backgrounds, my husband and I have allowed each other the space to value what makes us individuals.

2) We're more different than alike. I'm not going to lie, at first, the stares from those who only saw our differences, were uncomfortable. Because of our skin colors, we've often dealt with the myth that we are too different to be accepted or even to be happy. It didn't take long to realize that we have more in common than not. We are both athletes. We both love to dance. He's traveled the world and I've always wished to do the same. In the areas that matter most--our values and goals--we are more alike than different. Deciding to marry, interracially or not, is based on what makes you similar--not how different the world thinks you are.

3) We're trying to be people we aren't because we have low self esteem. Have I suffered from low self esteem? Of course! But having to deal with the challenges of raising a biracial family, held strong by the love of my husband, has strengthened my sense of self. For better or worse, regardless of your husband's culture, I bet he's altered your personal identity too.

4) We talk about race all the time. I am often asked how the topics of race and culture affect our daily lives. Truth is, after nearly a decade, we never really talk about those topics. We are more inclined to discuss personal finance, current events and weekend plans than issues surrounding race. Only now that our 3-year-old daughter is observing the differences has the issue of skin color come up in our home. 

5) We don't think about the children. From what we name our kids to where we live, raising biracial kids who are resilient in character and proud of their heritages is paramount. Prior to the birth of our two kids and every day since, the goal of our interracial marriage has been to build a legacy of love. 

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Topics: marriage  race  relationships  love