Mami confessions: I don't know if my son's dad is my ex or my husband!

Today's Confession is a really tricky one. This mom says thinking about it actually keeps her up at night--and I can totally see why! The desperate mom says she doesn't know who the real father of her 18-month-old son is ... But the situation is a little more complicated than it seems.

The mom wrote into our popular Confesiones forum asking for some advice on her predicament. So, ladies, let's see if we can help out this mamá with some solid advice!


According to the post she left in our Confesiones forum, the mom was dating a married man and dad of three kids, but she knew that the relationship couldn't be. However, the relationship was at times abusive and her married lover wouldn't let her go, and she even confesses that she almost got a restraining order against him, but hesitated because he was undocumented.

Read more in ¿Qué más?: Mami confessions: I'm in love with my brother-in-law

In the midst of all this drama, she met her current husband. Even though he brought peace to her life and helped her get away from the married and abusive dad, she says:

"The problem is that I was with both of them at the same time [in the beginning], that's why I really don't know who the father of my son is. My ex has continued to hound me, but I don't answer the phone or his messages. He knows that he's possibly the father of my baby, so he wants me to do a DNA test. I don't know what to do, my husband has no idea that I was still with this other man when we first started and I'm not sure what's going to happen if he finds out about this. I'm scared and I don't know what to do!"

I have to say that although I can totally see why this mom feels terrible, not knowing, and possibly having carried the child of her married, abusive ex-boyfriend, she should come out and tell her husband the whole truth. It is worse to have this other man calling her and messaging her--and it could be even WORSE if her husband finds out through him or another way. Besides, the baby could totally be her husband's. Wouldn't she like the peace of mind?

What do you think our desperate mamá should do, ladies?  Be sure to answer her at our Confesiones forum! And don't forget to check in to Confesions often, where you can read, respond, and even ask some questions yourself (anonymously, of course!).  

Image via Thinkstock

What do you think this mom should do? Tell or stay quiet?

Topics: affair  relationships  love advice  infidelity  confessions


What do you think this mom should do? Tell or stay quiet?

on Feb 20, 2013 at 4:48 PM

i think she should get a "sample" of her actual dh and get a DNA test behind his back .

theres no need to tell him unless she uis sure the child isnt his . just the fact that she has kept her situation behind his back for such a long time is reason enough for it to ruin her marriage

and abotu the pos ex ? well , she can always change her phone # and "dissapear "

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on Feb 20, 2013 at 10:58 PM

I think she should tell without telling.  Admit her abusive ex is still hounding her.  Admit that the ex thinks their baby could be his (and really, he sounds loco; she could just be confused because that domineering ex makes her believe things she knows can't come true or be true!).  Re-establish that the beginnings of her current relationship were complicated by this overbearing ex.  I'm sure the terrible feeling comes also from not having been able to let the ex go when clearly someone better for her came along, but the reality is she didn't, and now she's letting it eat at her spirit.  She should find strength in her relationship with her husband and let her ex know she is married and raising her own child.  He needs to concentrate on his own family and leave hers alone.  My two centavos. 

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on Feb 21, 2013 at 4:14 PM
Believe he is you husbands and say it! If u did get a DNA test and comes out its your ex than he could try and take him away...and he will be in your life forever..u don't want that..and I would threatened to call the police on him if he does not leave you alone. change your phone number even if you have to leave go somewhere else..
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