Pre-wedding doubts may mean divorce later on
I didn't have a big wedding. Nor did I get to plan it for a long time. My husband asked me to marry him on Sept. 11, 2001 and by Nov. 3, we were husband and wife. So there was essentially no time for me to get the pre-wedding jitters. But I've been around enough brides and grooms to know that what those can be like and I must say that I would have never associated getting cold feet before your wedding with marital problems down the road.
But a new study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, a bride who has doubts before her wedding has more than double the odds of getting a divorce!
Is that crazy or what?
The study included close to 500 newlyweds who were interviewed every six months for four years. Interestingly, the findings reflected that premarital doubts have more of an effect in the success of a marriage if they came from the bride and not so much if they came from the groom.
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Even though I barely had time to plan my wedding, let alone be nervous about it, I know I did wonder whether we were making the right decision or not. Not so much because I doubted our love, but more so because I've never being a huge supporter of marriage. But that's another story...
In any event, I feel like anyone who doesn't question taking such a huge step in their lives is completely crazy. However, I think that there's a real difference between innocent nerves the closer the wedding gets and having serious cold feet.
As the authors of the study concluded:
Doubt should not simply be dismissed as a normative experience or viewed as something that will go away once partners make a commitment to each other. Rather, feelings of premarital uncertainty should be validated, taken seriously and used as an opportunity for exploration.
I couldn't agree more!
Image via ^@^ina (Irina Patrascu)/flickr