How '50 Shades of Grey' changed my love life

I tried to resist reading the series for a long, long time. I'm one of those people that likes to be "in the know" about things going on in pop culture, so it seemed only natural for me to read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy; however, I had heard that it originally started as Twilight saga fan fiction and, well, I hate those books (and movies).

Eventually, though, my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to give at least the first book a chance. To be honest, the book wasn't as shocking as I had heard it was, but I did learn one VERY big lesson thanks to the trilogy by E.L. James—and it changed my love life.


Read more ¿Qué más? If a Latina wrote "50 Shades of Grey" it would be a lot different

I don't know what you've heard about the books, but I will admit that I am NOT the biggest fan of the writing. It felt sloppy and repetitiousand I was actually quite bored by the pretty repetitive sex by the end. I liked the character of Christian Grey a lot, though, and I can understand why heroine Anastasia Steele fell for him hard and fast—but I also understand why a lot of people are complaining about their abusive, controlling relationship.

Christian is NOTHING if not a serious control freak in the series and, his kinky tastes aside, it was definitely a big problem for me. I was intrigued by his emotional development (falling in love with Anastasia, having to open up and try to be—slightly—less controlling) but, by the end of the books, I found myself rolling my eyes at almost every single scene—when Anastasia would do something that didn't adhere to Mr. Controlling's standards, knowing it would piss him off, and then get scared that he wanted to "punish" her.

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It got a bit tiresome to go through the same thing over and over again. That's why, after reading the series, the biggest thing I learned is to be WAY more assertive about what I want in every aspect of my love life. Seriously.

The only super annoying thing about the books (besides the amount of times Anastasia says "Holy crap" when Christian looks angry) is that she's constantly going against his wishes and then scared to death when he gets mad. Look, girl, you REALLY have to learn to be more assertive and just stand up for yourself and your convictions. Let me tell you that learning from her bad example has really made MY mind up about how I want to act in my future relationships—and that doesn't include being afraid of my loved one's reaction after I made a decision.

It's one thing to have a hot sex life (CERTAINLY nothing wrong with that!) but a whole other to be afraid of your partner.  And the latter is just NOT something that's on my love life's agenda. Period.

Have you read the '50 Shades of Grey' books? Do you agree that Anastasia should stop being so afraid of Christian after every time he gets angry? Share with us in the comments below!

Image via Vintage

Topics: sex  single in love  love advice  50 shades of grey


on Jul 16, 2012 at 2:18 PM

Thanks for this post... I haven't really cared to read the trilogy and now I'm even more convinced that I don't need to waste my precious time doing so! 

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on Jul 18, 2012 at 5:29 PM

epetitious—and I was actually quite bored by the pretty repetitive sex by the end

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on Jul 19, 2012 at 9:39 PM

I agree w/SpanglishBaby - was slightly intrigued only cuz I like erotica but if it's not all that & it's about (what sounds like) a big brat... I can waste my precious time writing it! ;-)

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on Oct 6, 2012 at 9:44 PM
well cant say i would cant say either that im not afraid i think the reason why we know shes afraid bcoz the story tel it so but if you read it carefully the nice thing about it that even if shes afraid she takes the risk and learn from it and i think that the reality of life we will never know until we are on the same situation as she is ....
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on Oct 7, 2012 at 10:05 PM
I really enjoyed reading the books. It was nothing like i thought it would be . Yes it had kinky sex and yes he liked to take care of his ladies , it i feel the relationship between him and Ana was a great one they both learnt something about themselves and others. It had everything a fantasy should have.
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on Oct 8, 2012 at 3:48 AM
Ok well IF you REALLY didnt like the book you wouldnt of went on to read the second and third one so CLEARLY you did enjoy it. As u stated above"got bored from first one" well why read the others then ?!?!?!? Personally i LOVED fifthy shades of grey and its amazing when u think about it how much it relates to your own life and own relationships. I would highly recommened everyone to read the books :)
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on Oct 8, 2012 at 9:31 AM
Nothing new...Danielle Steele meets rich handsome unemotionally available man...he falls for her...changes...marries her....
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