Are you "allowed" to have male friends?

My husband swears he's not jealous of my male friends, but I know he is, even if just a little. Then again, I have to admit I feel the same way about his female friends, some of whom, in the past, have acted way too chummy for my taste. I guess it all has to do with the age-old question that asks whether men and women can actually be friends? Or is the risk of becoming attracted to each other always looming overhead?

Well, according to a recent study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, the question we should be asking ourselves is not whether we can be friends but rather whether we should be friends?


Read more in ¿Qué más?: What would you do if your husband cheated on you?

Check out the results of the study conducted among 400 adults between the ages of 18 and 52: Attraction between male and female friends is not only common, but it's also potentially costly. Lead author April Bleske-Rechek, associate professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire had this to say about the findings: 

I'd venture to say, based on all our data, that in the majority of (opposite-sex) friendships there's at least a low level of attraction. And if it's coming more from one friend than the other, it's probably the guy.

I kind of figured that would be so in some cases because it's happened to me, but I didn't know it's be so prevalent and persistent as shown by the results of this study. 

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So, does that mean that both my husband and I are right to feel jealous of each other's friends from the opposite-sex? Who knows? But this much I know is true: These days, I can count in only ne hand the males I consider true friends. Whereas when I was younger, I used to have more male friends than female friends. I'm not sure why that was the case exactly, but it seemed to me like I got along better with them than I did with women. (I guess it's because they're not as complicated as us.) Today, I feel the opposite. 

Do you have male friends? What does your husband think about that? Please share with us in the comment area below. 

Image via Dubber/flickr



on May 14, 2012 at 9:14 PM

My husband and I are a jealous couple! & he told me once the male friends I had before probably had a crush on me at some point or another, & I have to say he was right. I don't believe in this diff sex friendship unless you guys lived in the same neighborhood, were almost raised together,etc. At some point there is some level of attractiveness, why play with fire for? I understand the casual friend,etc, but intimate friend of opposite sex, sorry but not for us! I'm just happy we both agree on the topic.

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on May 15, 2012 at 1:51 PM

My husband and I are not jelous type.  We trust each other.  I do not have friends as I used to when I was younger, but those who I consider friends are male.  I am very happy and comfortable with having just male friends over.  I get along better, they are not sentimental, and they simply say the things as they are, not with embelishments.  Growing up my friends were all male, and yes I did went further with a few of them, but it never changed our friendship.  It simply made it easier to talk about things that I would have not talked about before.  It is harder to get friends now because the wives get jealous. The only female friend I have thinks very similar to me and gets along with the other fathers as well.  I guess that's why volunteering to help with the boys scouts is easier than volunteering at school.  

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on May 15, 2012 at 1:55 PM

I also have to say that if my husband will not "allowed" me to do one thing or another, I would seriously reconsider my marriage.  After all, marriage should be based on trust and respect.  If ha can't trust or respect me, he better go with somebody else.  We've been married 15 years and counting.  We established respect from the start, and luckily we have never crossed that line.  


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